TP Squash

Saturday, December 01, 2007

ok... good try shavonne.. keep up the good work =)

anyway.. that site.. i duno y weijie go search for this kinda thingss...

quoted from that site huh...

Squash
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“There is only one thing worse than playing squash together, and that is not playing squash together”
~ Oscar Wilde on playing squash
“I wish I hadn't said that.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Oscar Wilde quotes on playing squash

Squash is a "internationally" recognised sport played by a few, not many, old men and young boys forced to play it by the same old men. It is basically a sport where violence rules the court. The more bloody the battle is, the better the crowd will cheer. In the end, even if a player has scored more points, the person who is the most liked by the crowd wins. Why? Because if the umpire does not follow the crowd...well, most likely he dies.
[edit] Gameplay

Objective
The main objective of squash is to drive the ball off the front wall and into your opponent. Different parts of the human give diferent points.
Scoring

Here is the scoring system of the game. Like previously mentioned, different parts hit provide different points scored. This scoring system is endorsed by the IFSI, or International Federation of Squash Idiots.

Arm: 1 Point
Leg: 1 Point
Chest: 2 Points
Abdomen: 3 Points
Head : 4 Points
Groin/Jackpot: 5 Points

However, if the racket hits an opponent, the person holding the racket gets 1 point. Thus, a match often results in a free for all brawl. There is no booking for dangerous play because most of the time the referee is in the toilet, wanking to a porno magazine mush like the one next to you now. You sick dirty minded you.

Please be mindful of killing in the court. Blood spoils the court floor. However, if you "accidentally" kill your opponent, you are given 5 points. If the opponent dies of internal bleeding after the match, you are automatically declared the winner. Because of this rule, there have been cases where the ball was rigged. Like using a shot put instead of a rubber squash ball.

hahhaa.. squash can link to wanking in the TOILET??!? HAHAHA.. anyway... speaking of toilet....

i was at toa payoh safra today having squash traiinng.. den u guys noe wat..

i wanted to bath den the toilet with 4 cubicles are full.. then i waited and waited.. about 15 mins... den i walk in and out of the toilet to complain and grumble to the rest.. den when i wanted to walk in to wait for the cubicle, a guy ran in and took that cubicle.. i den waited for the other 3 for the small boys to come out..

guess wat.. i wated for another 5 mins and still they are inside.. 1 is the door got one BIKINI hanging there so i din wanan peek inside.. the other 2.. got one bloody sissy small boyyy.. bend down.. wash wash.. i think he even bathed his toenails?!?! so damm long.. i went out to complain to my fellow squashmates.. den u noe wat they told me?

they said.. liddat ok already lo.. last time is they go in... den make alot of bubble.. stay inside the cubicle and ICE SKATE!!!!! omg.. damm furious.. waiting for toilet dne still no cubicle to use..

finally i got a chance to use the toilet... den i heard some mother and daughter shouting into the toilet..

"RICHARD, U BETTER COME OUT NOW.. IF U DUN COME OUT MEI MEI AND I ARE LEAVING."

i was like.. bloody hell. got u this kinda poeple occupy the cubicles. even a small gal bath faster den u lo.. sucker!!!!!

haha.. end of fusturation.. its a happy day =D

Posted by TP Squash@ 10:11 pm
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